It's the new year and, like most Americans, I wanted to lose some of the old spare tire. I have dusted off the ratty old sweatpants and ponder whether to spring for some of the quality stuff like Nike or Under Armor or Adidas. Sitting in the car and debating the decision (a la Cameron Frye), I suddenly had a revelation. No way in heck am I going to guilt myself by wasting money on new gear in the interest of self-delusion. I quashed my inner Prefontaine and committed to being non-committal. Sure, I'll eat healthier and try to work more activity into my days, but I'm not going to use the word "resolution."
Why, you ask? Well, let's be honest. Most of us who say we're going to get in shape are just going to flake out. Therefore, I won't resolve to exercise more. I like to give myself escape clauses like that. It's like a golden parachute that will likely consist of Salt Lick BBQ or chocolate silk pie instead of woven with actual silk.
So I ask myself what it is that I can handle in my current physical condition. "You know," my conscience chimes in, "there is that Break-a-leg 5K Run/Walk coming up on Feb. 20th." My body quickly tells my Jiminy Cricket to get bent; no way would we survive that when our conditioning is non-existent. Obviously hurt, my conscience schlups off but reminds us there's always next year.
Hey, there is something I can do. And it even has the word "run" in its title. There's a screening of Run Fatboy Run coming up. It's a 2007 comedy starring Simon Pegg (BBC's "Spaced," Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) and directed by David Schwimmer. Yes, that David Schwimmer. Also remembered as Ross, the man who claimed he was on a break when cheating on Rachel Green. "I'll be there for you...?" Yeah right, Ross.
In case you're wondering about the film's title, the answer is no. It is NOT a bizarre sequel to Run Lola Run starring famous DJ Fatboy Slim. Let me tell you what it is about, my funk soul brother. Wait, You know what? Here's the trailer.
But as any good marketer (or Vince the ShamWow! guy) would say, there's more.
Your ticket includes film admission, complimentary Thirst Planet beer, and popcorn (and a special event t-shirt for the first 50 people that arrive). At 6:00 p.m., join in on an optional, short “pub run." Don't be scared. It's just south along Congress to Hotel Saint Cecilia, where all will be met by the folks from Thirsty Planet Brewery. Afterwards, it’s back to the Paramount for the movie. Sounds better than dropping some dough on new sneakers or tracksuits, doesn't it? If my soft excuse for a body can do it, so can you.
So come sweat off a pint during the Pub Run and have fun putting it back on with free beer, popcorn and a movie. It's gonna be funnier than watching that DVR recording of this week's "The Biggest Loser." But for goodness sake, leave those ratty sweatpants at home.
Run Fatboy Run will screen at The Paramount Theatre on Tuesday, February 1st at 7:30 p.m. with the pub run taking place at 6:00 p.m.